Fairy Godparents for Ranma
by Lord Keiichi of Umineko
Summary: Ranma has many problems outside of fights. So Ranma gets some help in form of two fairies, Cosmo and Wanda, that grant him wishes. Let's see how much chaos 1 wild horse and 2 fairies can cause. Episode 4 is out now. My second story. Hope you like it.
1. A Monstrous Meal

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or The Fairly OddParents. They belong to those that created them.

* * *

Fairy Godparents for Ranma

Episode 1: Enter Cosmo and Wanda / A Monstrous Meal

* * *

Featuring ... Ranma, Cosmo, Wanda, Akane,...

* * *

Ranma's day began with the normal craziness except that Kuno got a lucky shot at Ranma's ankle joint ,when Ryoga attacked Ranma. Ranma got more bruises than usually in that and also in the following fights because he couldn't use one of his legs in the fights because it hurt all the time.

So we will just skip the normal craziness and go to real story.

* * *

At the Tendo Dojo

When Ranma arrived there and opened the door, Genma and Soun stood in front of him. They heard that Ranma had a hard day and thought up a plan for Ranma and Akane again.

Genma began. "I have heard you had a hard day. You were hurt and we think that you need to be taken care of. You should stay here and recover."

_"Pops cares about me? That's new to me."_

Soun nodded. "That's right. We will leave. You need peace, silence and the love of your caring fiancée Akane. That's why me, Genma, Kasumi and Nabiki will leave you two alone."

Ranma snorted. _"Figures! They try to set me up with Akane again." _Ranma didn't go away from the door. "That's only some stupid plan to get me and Akane together! How could she take care of me if she can't even cook anyway! Also I went to Tofu before."

"You ungrateful brat!" Genma punched Ranma in the face so that he was knocked out. He gave Ranma to Soun who brought Ranma to Akane.

"Akane, since you are Ranma's fiancée, you have to take of him." Soun left quickly.

Akane's protests were not heard.

* * *

Outside

Genma, Soun, Kasumi and Nabiki went to an Italian restaurant, though Kasumi and Nabiki wondered why Akane and Ranma were not coming.

* * *

Later

Ranma woke up. "What knocked me out?" Then he remembered again. He clenched his fist. "That stupid Oyaji!"

Akane came. "So you are awake. That's good. Dinner is nearly ready."

Ranma gulped. "You have cooked."

"Yes. I've cooked a lot for you, because you need a lot of energy to recover. Not that I care about you." Akane saw Ranma's look. "And you will eat my food. I will bring it here now." Then she left.

Ranma was left in the room. He grabbed a ball that laid around and threw it away. He would have to eat Akane's toxic waste again if a wonder didn't happen. And in his condition it could kill him.

Then the ball he threw split. There was some magical smoke or something and then some flashy light. Two fairies appeared.

They chorused. "Hey, Ranma!"

They flew toward him. The male green-haired fairy spoke first. "I'm Cosmo."

Then the pink-haired female fairy spoke. "And I'm Wanda."

They flew back. Behind them were two floodlights and the words 'FAIRY GODPARENTS'. "And we are your fairy godparents!"

Wanda asked Ranma. "What do you think, Ranma?"

"I think I should show you to Cologne. She knows a lot about many things and I can eat at the Nekohanten." Ranma stood up and wanted to leave through the window.

"Hold it, tiger!" Wanda's wand glowed and Ranma crashed into a massive wall that appeared in front of the window. "You can't tell anyone about us."

"If you do, we will just go away forever."

"Why?"

"Look, that's what 'Da Rules' book says."

A thick book appeared over Ranma and fell on him.

"Oops. Sorry."

"There is lots of rules, Ranma."

Ranma lifted up the thick book. "Why are you here?"

Cosmo flew to Ranma. "We want to help you. We are magic." He threw some fairy dust into Ranma's face for a few times.

Wanda came closer to Ranma, too. "We grant wishes."

Then Ranma heard Akane shouting from the corridor. "I'm coming. You will get a large portion of my delicious self-made food."

Ranma shuddered and turned toward his new fairy godparents. "Can you let things disappear and appear somewhere far away from me?"

Cosmo replied. "HA! Nothing is more easy than that."

"Okay. Then I wish Akane's food was somewhere else and that she brought some edible food."

Cosmo and Wanda lifted their wands.

* * *

A few seconds later

Akane entered the room with a huge bowl.

Ranma looked at the bowl. It was filled with ramen. There were shrimps and chicken pieces. It was hot and smelled delicious. All in all, it didn't look bad. He grabbed the chopsticks, took one of the shrimps and put it in his mouth. He tasted it aaand ...

"It tastes good?"

Akane looked at Ranma with a certain shine in her eyes. "And you mean it?"

"Yeah."

"I can always cook more."

"NOOOO! Please no more! Euh, I mean I think that's enough."

Akane was confused about Ranma's reaction, but she didn't say anything.

* * *

A while later

Akane and Ranma were watching TV.

Then Akane looked at the fish bowl with two gold fishes in there next to Ranma. "Since when do you have gold fishes?"

Ranma whispered, so that Akane couldn't hear, what he said. "I wish I could come up with a good lie." Cosmo's and Wanda's wands glowed. "They are from the festival. I kept them."

"Oh, okay."

Akane and Ranma watched TV again ,when the show they watched it was interrupted.

They saw a newsman. "Hello, I'm Matt Itoldya, the show that maybe two people have been watching has been interrupted because of a monster attack."

The camera turned toward the battle in the background. A few martial artists and the Sailor Senshi were fighting a twenty meter tall slimy beast.

Ranma exclaimed. "Those are Happosai, Cologne, Genma, Soun, Ryoga, Mousse, Kuno, Shampoo and Ukyo."

Matt Itoldya continued. "Two mummies, seven superpowered martial artists and nine cheerleaders are fighting the beast in the background."

Several shouts followed.

"WE ARE NOT MUMMIES!"

"WE ARE NOT CHEERLEADERS!"

"WE ARE NOT SUPERPOWERED MARTIAL ARTISTS! Hey, wait a minute, that's a good thing!"

The newsman ignored the shouts in the background. He turned toward a man standing next to him.

The man introduced himself. "Hello, my name is Kenji Korororosawa. I'm a chef and expert for food."

"What can you tell me about the beast?"

"It has been made by a very bad cook."

Ranma turned toward Akane.

"Why do you stare at me like that? My food was edible, wasn't it?"

The interview continued. "Do you know who could have made it?"

The chef replied calmly. "It has to be a person who gets easily angry or is often angry, likes brute instruments of destruction and is a horrible actor. The beast is really bad at acting like Godzilla."

"Could you explain why to us?"

"Everyone knows the saying you are what you eat. There is also a second saying. The food you are preparing is what you are."

"Thank you for the enlightening words." Matt and Kenji shook hands.

"It was a pleasure." Kenji smiled into the camera. Then he ran away screaming like a girl. He ran some circles and finally ran into a lantern.

Matt and everyone else who was watching him sweatdropped. It only got larger ,when Kenji got up and ran into the same lantern again.

Matt continued. "Ahem. So you heard it. Don't let persons who get easily angry or are often angry, like brute instruments of destruction and are a horrible actor into a kitchen."

In the background, the battle ended. The beast was frozen by an ice attack and Ryoga used the Bakusai Tenketsu on the frozen beast.

"Oh! The battle ended! Maybe we can get some interviews with our saviors."

* * *

Akane switched off the television. "I think I will cook something. I'm hungry."

Ranma cringed but he didn't say anything. He felt kinda guilty for the monster attack.

Akane left the room. Since Ranma didn't protest, she assumed Ranma had nothing against it.

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish Akane couldn't enter the kitchen."

Cosmo's and Wanda's wands glowed.

* * *

Akane wanted to enter the kitchen ,when she crashed into something like an invisible wall.

She hit the wall, ran against it and used her mallet with no success. She had been trying to break the wall for minutes, when she gave up.

She was tired.

Ranma came, too. He had thought about what he should say before. "I think you should rest a bit and go sleeping."

"Maybe. I put a lot of work into my food."

"I know I have watch" Ranma bit back the last few words. He only completed it in his head. _"I __have watched it on TV."_

Akane passed Ranma, went to her room, laid on her bed and slept.

* * *

Down in the kitchen were Ranma, Cosmo and Wanda.

"Thank you guys! Can you grant me another wish?"

"Sure! Anything! What is it?"

"Can you cure me from my Jusenkyo curse?"

Cosmo and Wanda lifted their wands.

Then the 'Da Rules' book fell on Ranma. Wanda read a passage from the book. "Fairy magic can not be used to cure Jusenkyo curses. Sorry, Ranma."

Ranma got up and shrugged. "I didn't believe it would work anyway. Still it was worth a shot. Thank you guys for helping me."

Cosmo answered. "That's what we are here for."

Then Ranma's stomach growled. He made a big sandwich.

Ranma left the kitchen, when he heard that Genma, Soun, Kasumi and Nabiki came back.

"So how was your time alone with Akane, boy?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"So you like her and want to marry her now?"

"NEVER!"

* * *

Back in the kitchen

Cosmo ate Ranma's sandwich. "Why do I feel so strong, confident ,honorable and like I couldn't tell anyone an outright lie now?"

* * *

Moral of the episode: Food tells a lot about the people who eat them and make them.

* * *

I figured Ranma needs some help outside of fights. I like 'The Fairly OddParents'. So when I watched one episode I came up with the idea of giving Ranma Cosmo and Wanda.

That's it for now! I hope you liked it.


	2. Small bugs and Big Booms

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or The Fairly OddParents. They belong to those that created them.

* * *

Fairy Godparents for Ranma

Episode 2: Small bugs and big booms

* * *

Featuring ... Ranma, Cosmo, Wanda, Akane, Ryoga,...

* * *

It had been a two days since Ranma received his fairy godparents. Those days would have been really great if Akane had not been in such a foul mood all the time. She had been trying to hit Ranma sometimes for small reasons as a comment against her or sometimes for no reason at all.

Ranma thought about letting Akane in the kitchen again ,but he forgot about that idea really fast for a few reasons.

1. Akane hit Ranma hard in the head ,when that idea formed in his head.

2. In that state of Akane, she would definately produce a far stronger demon than the one before.

3. Ranma didn't want Kasumi to frown at him for letting Akane destroy her kitchen, I mean creating a monster, eh no violating a sanctuary. (I hope I haven't exaggerated too much with that last point.)

* * *

At the moment, Ranma was walking randomly in the house of the Tendos, when Akane came.

Akane was quite happy. She found her little P-chan and carried him with her arms directly in front of her breasts.

Ranma glared down at P-chan. "Quite comfortable there, lost pork?"

P-chan glared right back. You could literally see the sparks flying. Then P-chan smirked at Ranma. He made himself more comfortable between Akane's breasts.

"Oh, why you?" Ranma tried to snatch P-chan from Akane but Akane malleted him so that he laid facedown on the ground.

Akane walked a few meters away before Ranma got up again.

"Akane! Wait! I can explain. I didn't want to grab your boobs, not that there is anything to grab, but ..." Ranma couldn't finish his excuse because he was malleted again.

Akane walked away.

Ranma could hear her when she talked to P-chan.

"I'll tell you everything that has happened during the last days. I'll tell all my feelings and secrets. My true feelings as a girl."

Ranma clenched his fists. "Dammit! Akane gets so easily angry! And now she tells Ryoga everything! Why couldn't she at least hear out my explanation?"

Wanda replied. "If you want her to listen to you, you shouldn't say that she has small breasts or call her tomboy and other things all the time. Try to be nicer to Akane."

"Or you could wish that she wouldn't get so angry all the time and listen to your explanations."

"I'm for Cosmo's suggestion."

Two scoreboards appeared behind Cosmo and Wanda.

Cosmo commented the score. "One Cosmo. Zero Wanda."

Then their wands glowed.

* * *

Inside of Akane's head

You could see many control panels and many people working on them.

The boss of Akane's brain walked toward the one who was responsible for Akane's temper. "I have to talk to you."

The boss was really sad about what he was about to do to his favorite yellow empolyee (not that there were more). He had always been working hard. He was employee of the month several times. He was one of the few that took their work seriously and often worked overtime.

The boss sighed. He said the name of the worker first. "(name) ... you have been moved to the breasts. They are understaffed."

The worker begged. "Please don't do this. This job is my life, my art, my baby."

The boss sweatdropped. "I think you need some time off, boy. It will do you good. Security."

Two security guard dragged the screaming worker to the breasts.

* * *

Unknown to everyone, Akane was the host of an evil, violent bug. Since Akane wouldn't be as angry or jealous or depressive as before so that the bug could make her hit things, it felt that it should search for another better host.

* * *

Ranma walked to Akane's room, when he noticed a bug on the ground. It was black and had red eyes.

Ranma shrugged. He knocked two times before he entered the room.

Ranma saw Akane. She only wore a bra and panties and was about to take off her bra. She mumbled something about her bra being a bit too small. Ranma quickly looked away and expected to be hit.

Instead Akane blushed. She covered herself up. Then she spoke. "Could you leave my room, while I get changed?"

Ranma blinked and quietly left the room. "Wow! I didn't think it would go that fast."

Cosmo and Wanda appeared in front of Ranma. "We are the best. That's why we were sent here."

"Yeah!" Cosmo directed his wand somewhere. A beam came out of wand. It hit a mirror and was reflected so that it came back to Cosmo. There were legs, where his arms should be, and arms, where his legs should be.

Ranma sweatdropped. Then he heard Akane saying that he could come in.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

Ranma scratched himself behind his neck. "Em, you know that I did certain things and I wanted to protect you and you hit me before I could explain."

"Okay. I don't know what you are talking about."

"There is P-chan. I think you should more careful around him. He's dangerous."

"P-chan? No, he has always been nice, but maybe I could bring him to the vet and get him fixed, so that you feel better around him."

P-chan's eyes bugged out, when he heard that he should get fixed.

Ranma saw Ryoga's reaction and was confused. "Get fixed?"

"You know. Neuter, castrate him."

"WHAT!" Ranma waved his hands in front of him. "No no no no, I don't think that will be necessary."

"So is there anything else that bothers you?"

"Euh ..." _"Wow, she was completely calm! I feel good and can't think of anything bad. She kinda has that Kasuminess now."_

"Well, since you can't think of anything, I can go now, can't I?" Akane walked past Ranma and left her room.

Ranma saw how Akane walked with a grace she didn't possess before. "Hey, Akane! Where do you go?"

Akane turned around. "I am heading toward the kitchen. I want to cook something."

Usually, Ranma would have cringed but he had a good feeling with that Akane. So he just nodded.

Akane turned around again and walked down the stairs.

Then Ranma left Akane's room. His fairies appeared again.

Wanda spoke up. "You know that Akane still can't enter the kitchen."

"Oh yeah. I've forgotten. I think she won't destroy the kitchen this time. Well, I wish she could enter the kitchen again."

* * *

In Akane's room

Ryoga was still in his cursed form in Akane's room. He didn't know why Akane's behavior changed, but he knew one thing. It had to be Ranma's fault.

P-chan bweed angrily. "Ranma, prepare to die! For something I don't know that you did to Akane! Now, I only need to find the bathroom. And then my clothes. And then Ranma."

Kasumi heard and saw P-chan. She picked him up. "Oh my! I heard that Akane wants to get you fixed." P-chan nodded. "I think I will help her." Ryoga panicked. Kasumi petted him to calm him. "Don't worry. I will search a good vet. Small cut or shot, big effect and no pain."

Now, Ryoga wanted to escape at all costs.

* * *

One hour later in the kitchen

Ranma and Akane were eating together a meal made by Akane. They both enjoyed it, though Akane enjoyed it more than Ranma.

Ranma had to think of what happened, when he ate a good meal brought by Akane. Last time she created a monster.

The bug from before watched Ranma and Akane. Then it left again. The auras were filled with far too good emotions.

* * *

A few hours later

A martial artist and part-time pig, also known as Ryoga Hibiki, was standing in front of the Tendo residence. He just escaped his biggest nightmare from now on.

A Kasumi that talked happily about castrating him.

Ryoga could never look at Kasumi in the same way as before again. He shook himself out of these thoughts. When he wanted to attack Ranma, he had to angry and/or depressive and not have fear.

Ryoga shouted. "Ranma, you coward, come out. Because of you, I have seen hell."

Ranma heard him and walked toward him. He asked disinterestedly. "What is it this time?"

Ryoga charged forward with his red umbrella. "Akane and Kasumi."

Ryoga nearly hit Ranma, because he was so surprised. "Kasumi?"

Ryoga stopped his attacks for a moment. "You don't know how much she can talk about castration."

Ranma laughed. He laughed so hard that it hurt. He had to wipe a tear away. He continued to laugh, when he saw Ryoga's angry face.

The evil bug saw Ryoga. It saw the anger, depression and fear. Ryoga was the perfect host. So it jumped on Ryoga.

"Baconbreath fears our almost angelic Kasumi for something she would never think of. That's too... too..." Ranma couldn't complete his sentence because he laughed so much. Then he felt a great amount of anger and depression hover over his head. He looked up and saw red and green ball of ki that was stronger than anything he has ever felt before. "What's that thing?"

"I don't know but I want it to beat you."

Then the ball moved down. Ranma had to think of something quickly. Ranma remembered Cosmo's magical incident. He whispered to Cosmo and Wanda who were bracers at the moment. "I wish I had a large mirror."

One second later, Ranma held a large mirror in his arms. When the ki ball hit the mirror, it was reflected. The ball flew to the sky. Then it hit something far away and exploded.

Ranma watched that and borrowed Kasumi's line. "Oh my!"

Ryoga cringed and went to fetal position. "Please no more."

Ranma sweatdropped. Then he saw a bug on Ryoga. Ranma recognized the bug and came to some right and some wrong conclusions. "That bug! It must be reason that Akane has such a temper and is so violent. It also makes people stronger because of the attack that Ryoga pulled off. I think it's the best if the weakest of the NWC gets the bug." Ranma adressed his fairies. "Cosmo, Wanda, I wish Akane was angry and had the bug again."

* * *

Inside of Akane's head a few seconds later

The worker sat on his usual seat in front of his usual control panel.

"SpongeBob, my boy, I am happy that you are back. Squidward wasn't doing half as good as you."

"That's because I had two control panels!"

The boss ignored Squidward. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Is it that time of the month again, Mr. Krabs?"

"Yes, that means ..."

SpongeBob shouted happily. "Overtime! Without getting paid!"

* * *

A few seconds later

Akane left the Tendo Dojo and walked to place where the fight was. Ranma could see how her breasts shrunk on the way to him and Ryoga. Akane saw what Ranma was doing and Ryoga lying on the ground.

Akane summoned her mallet and hit Ranma. Then she went to Ryoga. "Ryoga-kun, are you fine?"

"I think so but could you promise me something?"

"Sure what is it?"

"Don't bring P-chan to the vet. It's important for me."

Akane was confused. As far as she knew, P-chan and Ryoga haven't even met yet. "Okay, I promise."

Ryoga sighed in relief. His balls were saved. "There is also something else. Co- could you tell Ka- Ka- Kasumi that-"

Akane sighed. He stammered like Tofu. He fell for Kasumi, too. She laid a hand on his shoulder and looked in his eyes. "I'll tell Kasumi. Don't worry." She ran back to the house.

"Wait! You don't know what I wanted to tell you." Ryoga's words were not heard by Akane. He stood up and wanted to go to the Tendo Dojo. Unfortunately, he got lost on way.

* * *

With Ranma

Ranma landed in a canal. So he was a she at the moment. She walked back home, when she passed an electronics store.

There were also many TV sets. It was news time.

"Hello, it's news time. I am mad and I told ya. I'm Matt Itoldya. Our latest news is something scientists have observed just a few minutes ago." A video was shown while he spoke. "An unknown green and red ball collided with the red planet, also known as Mars, and caused the explosion of Mars due to unknown reasons..."

"Oh shit!" Ranma didn't listen to the rest of the broadcast. "Cosmo, Wanda, I wish the bug would stay on Akane forever and never ever be on Ryoga ever again!"

Ranma continued his way to the Tendo Dojo. She spoke once more to her fairies. "I think I will try out your piece of advice, Wanda, and be nicer to Akane."

* * *

Moral of the episode: Don't try to change people too much - you may not like the results.

* * *

A.N.

That took a little longer than the first chapter (less than one hour). I think about writing a sequel to that episode with RyogaxKasumi pairing. Also Ranma and Ryoga would get in trouble for blowing up Mars. It will probably be marked like that: (E2.2)

Oh, yeah, one little request. I think the name of the episode isn't that good. Could you help me a bit?


	3. Being unpopular is not easy

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or The Fairly OddParents. They belong to those that created them.

* * *

Fairy Godparents for Ranma

Episode 5: Being unpopular is not easy

* * *

Featuring ... Ranma, Cosmo, Wanda, Genma, Soun, Cologne, Mousse, Nabiki,...

* * *

Ranma came back from school and went straight to the guest room where his fairies were.

Ranma simply laid down on the ground and did nothing but rest a bit if he was lucky for a few minutes. "Hi, Cosmo, Wanda."

Cosmo and Wanda appeared over Ranma. They chorused. "Hi Ranma! How was your day?"

"Normal. School bored the hell outta me and there were fights again." Ranma continued. "Really! Why are all the fights always around or about me?"

Cosmo replied. "You are popular. Even more than Rock who reminds me of someone."

"That's a rock with a pink cap."

Cosmo talked with the rock. "Sorry, we have to part ways now. Ranma is much more popular. I want to be with Ranma all the time now." An 'Ahem' reminded Cosmo that he had a wife. "But I want to be with you, Wanda, more than all the time." Then Cosmo threw the rock out of the window and the rock hit someone.

"Ow! Ranma, you are going to pay for that!"

Ranma shivered. The rock hit Nabiki and she was going to cause great problems. He knew it. "Euh, back to the topic: the fights. Any ideas about that?"

Wanda voiced her opinion. "I think you should sort the fights first. Fights about who is going to marry, the fights with your rivals, fights caused by your father, challengers of the dojo and other fights."

"I guess that makes sense. Though nearly all fights have somethin' to do with oyaji. What's your opin..." Ranma stopped. Did he really want Cosmo's opinion? "Wanda, I think we should start with the fiancée stuff. Okay, I wish my fiancées didn't love me." Then a known, thick book fell on Ranma.

Wanda quoted a sentence from the 'Da Rules' book. "True love cannot be broken by fairy magic." Then the 'Da Rules' book disappeared.

"Another try, I wish my fiancées didn't like me." The 'Da Rules' book fell on Ranma again. "I guess that's too similar." A few seconds later, Ranma came up with another wish. "I wish I was the most unpopular person in Nerima."

"I don't think that's a good ..."

"Okay." Cosmo lifted up his wand. The wand began to glow and the wish was granted.

* * *

There was a large cloud with the word: UNPOPULAR

* * *

A few seconds later

Ranma was lying on the ground. "Hm. Nothing seems to have changed." There was silence. "Euh, Cosmo, Wanda." Ranma stood up and searched in the guest room. "I wonder where they are. Maybe it's because of the wish." Then Ranma grimaced. His fairy godparents probably didn't like him anymore. "That would be bad."

Ranma left the room. He went down the stairs. Ranma looked to the side where he saw his father and Soun playing shogi. While they played, they talked about him and the agreement.

Genma sighed. "Why do I have such an ungrat- , I mean unpopular boy? None of your daughters will want to marry him."

"I know. He is unfortunately your only son. Hey, I have an idea. You could adopt someone and make him your heir."

In Ranma's head, the alarm bells were ringing loudly. Those two idiots were already thinking of replacing him. Ranma had to find Cosmo and Wanda fast.

* * *

On a roof

Ranma ran fast. He needed to find his fairy godparents soon before more bad things happene. Then he noticed two amazons.

Cologne and Mousse were standing on a roof a few meters away. While Cologne had a serious face, Mousse's face was a bit red.

"What do you want?"

Colgne spoke calmly. "We want to end the chase now, Ranma. We want to return to China and never see you again, Ranma."

_"Ranma and no son-in-law? This is serious but how do they want end it?" _"How do you want to end it?"

Cologne explained. "You know the tribe wants to become stronger. For that we need strong genetic material. You are a strong male. So we need your genetic material, too, even if we don't like you."

"Um, what does that mean exactly?"

Cologne didn't answer the question at first. "Mousse."

When Cologne said that, the face of Mousse became a lot redder. _"Why do I have to use the hidden weapons technique this way? At least, it's better than what awaits Ranma." _Mousse opened his robe.

Cologne grabbed a few things. She took some normal things for what she was about to do. She also took something that looked like a baseball bat. _"Since he seems to like Akane, a blunt instrument of punishment, too." _Then Cologne anwered to Ranma's first question.

"We want your sperm!"

"My what? Yo-you mean!" Ranma shivered and his face became green. _"Cologne, a 300-year-old woman wants to ... with me?" _Then he looked at her hands. There were handcuffs, condoms, a whip, a baseball bat and many other things Ranma didn't recognize. Ranma's face took on a more sick tone of green. He really didn't want to imagine what she wanted to do with all that stuff. There was one thought that dominated everything in Ranma's mind.

_"FLEE AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THAT MADWOMAN!"_

There was one thing though that Ranma wondered while Ranma fled from Cologne. _"Why the baseball bat?"_

At the sidelines, Happosai watched the whole scene. He was a bit jealous. Cologne had never wanted his sperm as much as Ranma's.

* * *

Many hours later

Ranma was completely exhausted. Luckily, Cologne had only had him nearly two times but Ranma could always escape. At the moment, he couldn't move his legs. That could be because he had run like never before or because Cologne managed to hit Ranma a few times with the whip or because Ranma had handcuffs on his legs. You can decide. After having managed to evade his third major mental trauma after the Nekoken and Jusenkyo, Ranma didn't know where he was and it so fucking didn't matter. Away from Cologne was fine. Ranma wanted to fall asleep right where he was but he stopped by a sprinkler. The cold water turned him into a girl again. The cold water also kept him awake.

Ranma stood up and fell on the ground. She couldn't walk one bit with her legs. Those last kilometers were run only with the power of fear. In that moment, a greater force made itself known. It was the power of hunger. Ranma couldn't walk on her legs anymore but with the power of hunger came not wisdom but creativity.

Ranma did a handstand and walked home on her hands. On the way, Ranma had lots of time to think of how to unwish her wish. Cosmo and Wanda didn't want to be with her now. It got easier to think with each minute she walked on her hands. Unknown to her, blood flowed down to the part of body that had been neglected for many, many years: her brain.

"Okay, now! Think! Think! Think!" There was the noise in Ranma's head when Jimmy Neutron thought. The first image that came to her was Cologne. Ranma wanted to move to the next picture but then Cologne began to undress. Ranma tried to look away (pretty useless in your mind) but she couldn't.

"Cologne stop! Don't continue! Don't undress! Stop Imaginating Stuff! Stop! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ranma fell on her back and looked up at the sky that became darker.

After a few minutes, Ranma got up again and walked on her hands. "Come on brain! Think again! Think again! But not of Cologne!" There was that noise again. This time there was an image with Cosmo and Rock.

_Cosmo talked with the rock. "Sorry, we have to part ways now. Ranma is much more popular. I want to be with Ranma all the time now."_

"Brain Blast!" Ranma mumbled. "Why did I say that?" Ranma raised her voice again. "Anyway, I have a plan."

* * *

At the Tendo dojo

When Ranma arrived at the dojo, she saw that yellow taxi. There was fairy in the taxi.

"Hello! Could I ask you something?"

"Fine."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to take your fairy godparents to the fairy world again. They don't want to be with you and neither do I."

It was as bad as Ranma thought it would be. Then Cosmo and Wanda appeared with bags in their hands. They went to the taxi and wanted to get in but Ranma stopped them.

"Please don't leave! You are the best friends I've ever had except for ..." Ranma thought about his other friends. " ... no, there are no exceptions. I really suck at making new friends."

"Stop bothering us with your words. You stand no chance against Rock and nothing could ever change that fact."

"I won't let you go. You are two of my most important persons in my life."

Wanda was annoyed. "Just go away."

"No! I won't leave! Not until you grant me one last wish as my fairy godparents."

Wanda really wanted to get away from Ranma. "Okay, but do it quickly."

"I wish that everything is like before, that I'm popular, that people like me again and that Cologne isn't after my sperm any more, at least not the way she used today." Ranma shivered again at the end.

Wanda quickly granted the wish. Then the fairy taxi drove away.

Ranma looked at the taxi. She hoped that it would stop but it simply drove away. Ranma slumped her shoulders. She slowly entered the house. Ranma smelled the delicious food. She simply walked to her room. She didn't have much hunger any more. Ranma opened the door.

There was a banner with the words '1 WEEK WITH FAIRY GODPARENTS'. Directly under the banner floated Cosmo and Wanda. Between them was a chocolate cake that didn't interest Ranma much ... at least at the moment.

"Cosmo! Wanda! You are back!" Ranma ran over to them and hugged them.

"We have a cake for you. Congrulations, Ranma, you have kept us for one week so far."

Cosmo added. "And you have only nearly lost us once."

"It's not something that special."

"That isn't important. It's time for PARTY!"

A hi-fi system, food, drinks and party guests appeared in the room.

* * *

Akane, Nabiki, Soun and Genma were having dinner. Kasumi had to make dinner for Ranma. She couldn't believe that she didn't cook for him, too. All of them heard loud music coming from above from the guest room.

Nabiki volunteered to go to Ranma. She felt that there was something big going on around Ranma.

* * *

Ranma felt that Nabiki came to the guest room.

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish the hi-fi system, the party guests, the drinks and the food were gone ... and that really good chocolate cake, too." Ranma said that last bit with some regret.

A few seconds later, everything disappeared in a cloud.

Ranma leaned against the wall and put on a fake smile. He greeted Nabiki when she entered. "Hi! Nabiki! What's goin on? I have nothing to hide or so."

"We have dinner and I know that you hide something. Is it in the pink wardrobe or in the green night table?"

"Euh ... hey, I didn't notice it was dinner."

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Your stomach works better than any clock." Then she opened the pink wardrobe but there was nothing in there. "Then it's the green one." Nabiki opened all drawers of the night table. She put one hand in a drawer and felt if something was wrong about the drawer.

"Haha! I'm ticklish."

Ranma made a bad imitation of Cosmo's voice. "Haha! I'm ticklish."

"I know when something is wrong and I practically smell secrets and I know you have a big one. I'll be watching you." Nabiki left the room. _"Your next weeks will be hell. I'll find out your big secret, Ranma. I leave for now but I'll return."_

"That was one stressful day! I think I'm gonna do nothing now, then eat and then do nothing."

"Okay! You can do that while I eat some Japanese ramen made by Cologne!" Cosmo lifted up his wand and a bowl of ramen appeared in Cosmo's hands. "A really nice, old woman but not as nice or old you, Wanda."

"Awww ... hey!"

While Cosmo ate ramen and Wanda was angry at Cosmo for calling her old, Ranma just wanted not to be reminded of Cologne. Ranma put a pillow over his head and didn't want to hear Cosmo's slurping.

* * *

Moral of the episode: Three nearly got caughts make one really not caught, but two mental traumas and one bad experience are still very negative.

* * *

Now some omakes (my first ones)

* * *

Genma, Soun and Ranma were in the Tendo Dojo. Genma and Soun stood in front of a curtain. Ranma sat opposite to them.

Soun stepped forward. "You know we don't like you as the heir of Anything Goes. That's whyyyyy ..." Soun went back to the curtain and opened it with Genma. "... we have searched for another one."

Ranma stood up. "That's Mousse!"

"Yes! I will learn Anything Goes! I will learn everything about your style! I will find out the weaknesses of your style and beat you so that I can be with Shampoo! Nothing and nobody will be able to stop me! Mwuhahahaha!"

"That's the right attitude!"

The speech would have been more impressive if Mousse had talked to Ranma and not to one of the walls, but Ranma couldn't care less. He turned towards his father. "Did you hear that? He only wants to know the weaknesses!"

"No, he wants to learn everything, the weaknesses too, to be with Shampoo. Well, we have to work on the last bit, but we did it!" Genma began to cry.

Soun began to cry. "Yes, Genma."

Behind Genma and Soun appeared a sunset and you could hear wave sounds.

"Soun." "Genma." Then they hugged each other.

Mousse and Ranma slowly stepped a few many steps quickly away from the pair. That image was going to be clearly in their heads for a very long. Even Mousse's bad eyesight couldn't help him.

* * *

The idiot brothers in heart (also known as Soun and Genma) stood in front of a curtain. Ranma sat opposite to them.

Soun stepped forward. "You know we don't like you as the heir of Anything Goes. That's whyyyyy ..." Soun went back to the curtain and opened it with Genma. "... we have searched for another one."

Ranma stood up. "That's a man in a cat costume."

"I'm Catman and I want to learn to fight the evil." Then Adam West disguised as Catman began make cat noises and cleaned his arm like arm like a cat would with his tongue.

Ranma slowly stepped away. "This man is no c-cat. No cat! Only disguised as one! NO CAT! NO CAT AROUND! Mrrreow!"

"Wow! That was a good imitation!" Ranma's posture shifted to that of a cat. Ranma slowly stalked over to Catman. "Finally someone like me! Do you want to be friends?" Ki blades appeared on Ranma's hands. "I guess that's a no."

In less than five seconds, Catman was beaten.

"I guess we have to find a new heir."

"I think you are right, Genma."

Ranma meowed angrily.

Genma and Soun made the Crouch of the Proud Tiger. "We are sorry! We are sorry! You are our heir! You are our heir!"

Neko-Ranma extended his ki blades a bit which made the idiot brothers shiver. Then Neko-Ranma decided to play a bit more with those whims.

"We are sorry! We are sorry!" Yeah, that was music in Neko-Ranma's ears.

* * *

Ranma felt that Nabiki came to the guest room.

"Cosmo! Wanda! I wish the hi-fi system, the party guests, the drinks and the food were gone ... except for the cake."

A few seconds later, everything disappeared in a cloud except for the cake.

Ranma quickly changed the message, put the cake in a certain piece of furniture and leaned against the wall and put on a fake smile. He greeted Nabiki when she entered. "Hi! Nabiki! What's goin on? I have nothing to hide or so."

"We have dinner and I know that you hide something. Is it in the pink wardrobe or in the green night table?"

"Euh ... hey, I didn't notice it was dinner." Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Your stomach works better than any clock." Then she opened the pink wardrobe but there was nothing in there. "Then it's the green one." Nabiki opened one of the drawers and pulled the cake out. "Aha! A chocolate cake! My favorite sort of cake! Hmm, there is something written on it. WE IT FAIR ARE?" Nabiki had to decide her next course of action now. "That must be a message of some sort. I need to decipher that code." Nabiki quietly left the room with the cake.

Ranma stood in the guest room with a irritated expression. "The chaos here must have killed her brain cells, too." Then he noticed that the cake was gone. "Dammit! She took the cake!"

Ranma quickly left the guest room. He went to Nabiki's room and knocked at the door.

The door opened. Nabiki showed the empty plate the cake stood on in Ranma's hands. "Thanks for the cake. It was really good." Then she closed the door.

Ranma stood at Nabiki's door. He looked at the completely clean plate. "She didn't decipher anything. She only ate the cake."

The door opened again. "The cake said it wasn't meant for you. Oh, and could you bring the plate to kitchen? There is some food, too."

Ranma grumbled. "It's not fair. The cake was for me. We it fair are. My ass."

* * *

A.N.

Episode 5 is done. If you are wondering why it's ep 5, well obviously the episodes 3 and 4 are not going that well. I got pretty much worked up on those episodes, especially ep 3, so I simply moved on to ep 5. I'm really glad that I made that fanfic only as a compilation of single episodes and not a story where one chapter is based on the next one. In my only real story that's exactly the problem. I'm very far ahead with my thoughts so that I forget the beginning sometimes or don't like to write the beginning of my story.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and the omakes because there are still 9 episodes, the continuation of episode 2 and a 'how Ranma got his fairy godparents' special. There could also be two alternate versions of this episode. After all, I left the fiancées out and in school, there is also a lot to write I think. The reason I haven't added that stuff is because I rather want to keep the episodes short.

Anyway, I think I rambled enough.


	4. A new old rival

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or The Fairly OddParents. They belong to those that created them.

* * *

Fairy Godparents for Ranma

Episode 4: A new old rival

* * *

Featuring ... Gosunkugi, Ranma, Hinako, Cosmo, Wanda, ...

* * *

Hikaru Gosunkugi was sitting in front of his computer.

He had not noticed anything out of ordinary. His beloved Akane was still engaged to that Ranma Saotome. He tried to come up with a plan but he couldn't think of anything.

He typed random words and pushed enter. He scrolled down and clicked on a random website. Then he clicked on a link on that random website that led to another website. Gosunkugi did that for a few minutes.

Then he looked at monitor. He was on the homepage of Denzel Crocker. Gosunkugi read the article about fairies on the website.

The article said that when many unusual things happened around a child, the child could have fairies.

The first person that came into Gosunkugi's head was Ranma Saotome. The chaos in Nerima was focussed around him. The question was, did Ranma qualify as a child.

Gosunkugi looked up, through the window, onto the street. He saw Akane and Ranma.

Akane ran and held a mallet. She looked angrily at Ranma who stood on a wall a few meters away from her and looked down at her. "Ranma, come back here so that I can beat you!"

"As if! Catch me if ya can, uncute tomboy!" Ranma stuck out the tongue at Akane and pulled an eyelid down. That angered her even more. Then Ranma ran away grinning.

Akane shouted angrily. "RANMA!" Then she followed Ranma.

In his room, Gosunkugi nodded. "That's definitely a yes." Gosunkugi scrolled further down where the fairy hunting equipment was listed off. There were a few fairy hunting packages. The most basic one consisted of a fairy detector and a butterfly net. It cost 30 dollars plus mailing expenses.

"I think I'll buy that one first."

* * *

In Dimmsdale

Denzel Crocker sat in front of his computer. He was rather frustrated. Nothing unusual had been happening for the last weeks. Then he saw that he got an e-mail. It informed him that someone bought a fairy hunting package.

"Finally! A chance to prove that fairy godparents really exist after Timmy Turner somehow lost his fairy godparents!" Denzel Crocker looked at his computer. "In Nerima, Japan."

Denzel Crocker went to his mother. "Mom, I think I must leave Dimmsdale."

"Finally! A chance to throw you out!"

* * *

A few seconds later

Denzel Crocker laid on the sidewalk. His mother threw two suitcases after him that hit him.

Denzel Crocker stood up. "Now to the Crocker Cave where my hunting equipment is hidden!"

* * *

One day later

It was before midday. The parents of Gosunkugi were at home, while Gosunkugi was at school. Then the bell rang.

Hikaru Gosunkugi's mother went to the door and opened it. She saw a postman holding a package.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning! I have a package for Mr. Hikaru Gosunkugi."

"That's my son."

"Then I can give the package to you. I only need your signature, miss." Gosunkugi's mother signed a paper. The postman looked at the signature and nodded. Then he gave her the package. "That's all. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." Gosunkugi's mother went inside with the package.

Gosunkugi's father looked up from the TV to his wife and then to the package. "What's that?"

"I don't know. It's Hikaru's. He ordered something from the USA."

"I hope he has a real hobby now. Not that voodoo stuff." Then Gosunkugi's father mumbled something. "Maybe reading some imported porn. That's a real hobby."

It wasn't quiet enough. Gosunkugi's mother shot him a dark look. "Today you are sleeping on the couch." She ignored the following groan and concentrated on the package. She opened it and groaned herself.

"What is it?"

Then both parents heard a door open. Hikaru Gosunkugi entered the room a few seconds later. Gosunkugi recognized the package immediately.

"Wow, my fairy hunting set has already arrived!"

He went up to his mother, took the package from her and quickly went to his room.

* * *

In Gosunkugi's room

Gosunkugi unpacked the package. In the package was a fairy detector, a butterfly net and a small instruction sheet. The first part of the instruction sheet said how to use the fairy detector and second part said that fairies could be caught with things that could catch flying things and when the fairies were caught that they couldn't use magic.

When Gosunkugi turned on the fairy detector, there were several smaller dots but also two big ones. He assumed that those two dots were the fairies. Then he heard a voice coming from the detector.

"Yes! There are fairies in Nerima! I, Denzel Crocker, am one step closer to proving that FAIRY GODPARENTS EXIST!" (English)

"Hey, what's going on with the detector? Why is a voice coming from the detector?"(Japanese)

Crocker replied in English. "Now find the FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

"Okaaay. That was a bit weird."

* * *

Later at the Tendo Dojo

The bell rung. Kasumi went to door and opened the door. She saw Gosunkugi with a weird looking gadget. She greeted Gosunkugi with a friendly smile. "Hello, Hikaru."

"Hello, Kasumi. Can I come in?"

Kasumi let Gosunkugi and led him to the living room. They did a little small talk.

"As much as I enjoy talking with you, I bet it isn't the reason you came here."

"I came here to search for fairies, I mean to test my fairy detector, I mean ..."

"... to visit Akane and Ranma and show them your little gadget."

"Yes, that was what I wanted to my gadget to the lovely Akane ..." Gosunkugi smiled and seemed to be daydreaming. "... that womanizing bastard Saotome." Gosunkugi grabbed his fairy detector tigher with one hand and made a fist with the other hand.

Kasumi nodded and casually drank her tea. She had seen that reaction a few times. Ryoga loved Akane and hated Ranma, Kuno was like that except that he also lusted after Ranma's female side and Mousse hated Ranma and loved Shampoo, one of Ranma's fiancées. "So you want to see them?"

"Yes."

"They haven't come back from school yet."

* * *

In school

Ranma and Akane were currently at school, more precisely in their classroom, alone with Ms. Ninomiya who was in her child form. She glared at Ranma and Akane who were building up one of the two destroyed walls. The reason for that happened a few hours ago.

* * *

Flashback

Ranma and Akane sat quietly and bored in their classroom. It was English and their teacher sat on the desk with a lollipop in her mouth. Next to her was a bag full of sweets. So she was content at the moment. Then the wall next to the door broke and Shampoo entered the classroom.

Shampoo went directly to Ranma. She grabbed his hand, dragged him in front of the class and hugged him (still with her pair of chúi). Then she whispered into Ranma's ear. "Airen take me on date now, yes?"

Many students looked with jealousy at Ranma and Shampoo, especially one Akane Tendo. She stomped to the front of the classroom. "RANMA NO BAKA!"

Usually, Ranma would now be able to fly with bird in the sky for a few seconds but not this time. Ranma ducked but Shampoo didn't so that she got hit instead. Shampoo flew out the classroom with one chúi. There were two cracking sounds. One from Shampoo flew the wall and created a Shampoo-shaped hole and the other one ...

"MY SWEETS!"

... came from Hinako's sweets. Shampoo held a few seconds on the second chúi before it slipped out of her hand. It flew in an arch, past Hinako and landed on her sweets.

* * *

Several drainings followed of course. The lesson became just pure hell. There was a question and answer game, completely in English. One wrong answer and then BAM! Drain. Ranma got drained twenty times or so_. _

_"Really why did I duck? Getting malleted would have been much shorter and less painful. Now, I have to build up that wall and close the other hole and buy new sweets. Damn, it must that time of the month if she pulls something like that." _Ranma looked back at Ms. Ninomiya. He shivered. _"I really wish that mallet had hit me." _Then Ranma slapped his forehead. "I'm really stupid."

Akane and Hinako looked at Ranma. It has been a while since someone spoke.

Ranma jumped through an open window. In the air, he shouted back. "Gotta go. You can go, too. Don't worry the holes will be repaired and I'll send you new sweets. Bye." Ranma waved at Akane and Hinako. Then, Ranma fell. He landed gracefully on the ground and ran to the Tendo dojo.

Both, Akane and Hinako shouted. "Ranma, come back!" Akane also added. "You have to suffer with me!"

* * *

At the same time

Hikaru Gosunkugi was alone at the moment because Kasumi was making new tea. That gave him some time to think about what he should do next. "So Ranma Saotome isn't here at the moment..." Gosunkugi looked down at his fairy detector. "... but his fairies are. Perfect!"

Gosunkugi stood up and sneaked to the guest room as silent as possible. He ignored the human waterworks and the glasses-wearing panda that was slighly cleverer than other pandas or the other man at the moment.

"Why are the onions standing at the shogi board?"

The panda shrugged. Then he held up a board. "[I don't know.]" The panda flipped the board. "[But I don't feel anything ...]" The panda held up a second board. "[... because I wear glasses.]" (flip) "[What's that creep over there doing here?]" The panda pointed at Gosunkugi.

Soun turned around and looked at where Gosunkugi stood. Soun wiped away a tear before he turned around only to find out that he was beaten again. "I lost and I have to cry ... because of the onions."

Gosunkugi also had to ignore the small gnome that was sorting bras and panties after sort, colour and material. Gosunkugi had to move on to the fairies but it was tough not to listen.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ranma entered the guest room via window.

"Hi, Cosmo! Hi, Wanda!"

"Hello, Ranma!"

"You need to grant me a few wishes."

"Okay. Tell us already."

"First, I wish the walls of my classroom were repaired."

Two lifts of wands was enough to grant the wish.

* * *

In school

There were suddenly two poofs and the walls of the classroom were repaired.

"Ranma didn't lie. The walls are repaired now. Can I go now, Ninomiya-sensei?"

Hinako nodded.

Akane quickly left the room.

* * *

With Ranma

"I wish a sack filled with sweets was here."

There was a poof and a sack that went up to Ranma's hip and was completely filled with sweets appeared in front of Ranma.

"It's a bit much but, eh, more won't hurt, will it? I wish the sack appeared on the teacher's desk." Cosmo and Wanda wanted to grant Ranma's wish but Ranma told not to fulfill the wish yet. "I wish on the sack was a small note." Ranma thought about which words should stand on the note. "I wish the words 'Sorry for the sweets this morning. Here are new ones. I hope they taste good. Love, Ranma.'." Cosmo and Wanda fulfilled the fourth wish in the last 30 seconds. Ranma thought he had forgotten something but he mentally shrugged. "Okay, I wish the sack on Ms. Hinako's desk."

Cosmo and Wanda fulfilled the Ranma's fifth wish.

* * *

In school

Hinako was about to leave when Ranma's sack appeared on the desk in the classroom. Hinako went to the sack and opened it. It filled with all sorts of sweets.

Hinako lifted the sack. She noted that it was so heavy that it would be difficult to carry it all the way to her apartment. She would have to drain all the guys who looked at her breasts or her butt.

* * *

Gosunkugi was standing in front of Ranma's door. His fairy detector beeped fast which meant wishes were fulfilled. Gosunkugi opened the door and stepped into the room. Gosunkugi only saw Ranma. His fairy godparents were in their fish form.

"Ranma Saotome, I know that you have fairies."

Ranma stood a few meters in front of his fish bowl so that Gosunkugi couldn't see cosmo and Wanda. "Really and how?"

"With this fairy detector. And I know that your fairies are behind you."

"Wow, a real fairy detector! Lemme have it for a moment!" Ranma quickly snatched the fairy detector out of Gosunkugi's hands.

"Hey, gimme the detector back!" Gosunkugi tried to grab his detector with both hands but Ranma held the fairy detector with one hands and kept Gosunkugi away with the other hand.

Ranma looked at all sides of the fairy detector. "That's a fairy detector? You can have it back."

Gosunkugi stopped his pathetic attempts to get his fairy detector back. "Really?"

Ranma nodded. Ranma was about to give the detector back when he 'accidently' grabbed it too hard.

CRACK!

"AAAHHHHH! YOU KILLED MY FAIRY DETECTOR!"

Someone outside. "YOU BASTARD!"

Ranma scratched the back of his neck. He couldn't keep a small smile out of his face. "Sorry about that. I don't know how that could happen."

"You aren't sorry at all! I will come back, Saotome. I will show everyone that you have fairies." Gosunkugi slowly made a few steps back. He opened the door, made a few steps back and slowly closed the door. "I will come back, Saotome." Then Gosunkugi closed the door completely.

"I guess Gosunkugi will become a much larger pain in the ass now." Ranma sighed. "I need some sweets now." Ranma found a kettle in the room. He poured the cold water in the kettle on his head.

"I wish I had sweets."

* * *

In Hinako's apartment

Hinako laid on her couch. Ranma's sack laid on the ground in front of her. Hinako grabbed a few sweets from the sack and just threw them in the air.

"Such a nice day."

* * *

With Gosunkugi

Gosunkugi sat in front of the food his mother has cooked or rather what was left of it. There were some cookies. They didn't look bad so he ate one of them. Gosunkugi's face became a bit less pale, to be more precise green. He quickly spit out the cookie.

_"Such a bad day."_

* * *

In the Crocker Cave

Denzel Crocker knew that there were fairies in Nerima, Japan. That meant he had to go to Japan. The problem was ...

"I can't speak Japanese."

That meant he had to take Japanese lessons. Crocker grabbed a thick book. He flipped through the pages.

"Let's see ... J ... Japanese .. there! Japanese lessons."

Crocker looked for the perfect one for him. "Hm. Perfect Japanese in two days***. Anytime. Anywhere. Only try it if you are determined enough. I AM DETERMINED ENOUGH. What do those asterisks mean?" Crocker flipped to the page where those symbols were explained. "*** means 'if you survive'? What sort of book is that?" Crocker looked at the cover. "Yellow Pages for Dummies (also suitable for insane, very determined or suicidal people now)"

* * *

Ranma laid in the guest room. That day wasn't easy. Keeping Cosmo and Wanda wasn't going to get easier. Ranma ate a chocolate bar.

_"It's still one of the better days in Nerima_." Ranma thought, while she ate the chocolate bar.

* * *

Moral of the episode: Sweets can make one's day a bit sweeter.

* * *

Omake section

* * *

#1

Hikaru Gosunkugi was sitting in front of his computer.

He had not noticed anything out of ordinary. His beloved Akane was still engaged to that Ranma Saotome. He tried to come up with a plan but he couldn't think of anything.

He typed random words and pushed enter. He scrolled down and clicked on a random website. Then he clicked on a link on that random website that led to another website. Gosunkugi did that for a few minutes.

Gosunkugi heard a knock at his door. He heard the voice of his mother. He turned towards the door.

"As your parents, we respect the privacy of our son but at the same time, we have the authority of coming into your room anytime."

Gosunkugi's parents held a rammer.

"Gosunkugi Hikaru, what are you doing on those dirty websites!"

Hikaru Gosunkugi answered truthfully. "I don't know how I got there, mom."

"No computer for the rest of the week." Gosunkugi's mother left the room.

Gosunkugi's father looked around himself. When he felt sure that nobody was in the room except for him and Hikaru, he gave his son a thumbs up.

"I know what you did." Came from the floor.

* * *

#2

Gosunkugi was standing in front of Ranma's door. His fairy detector beeped fast which meant wishes were fulfilled. Then a message appeared on the fairy detector.

"Too many wishes are fulfilled. Magical overload. Detector will destroy itself in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1."

BOOM!

Ranma heard that noise and rushed out of his room. He saw Gosunkugi. "Hey, are you okay, Gosunkugi?"

Gosunkugi coughed. His face was black. His clothes were slightly burned. "I'm fine."

Gosunkugi picked up the destroyed fairy detector. He turned it around and read out what he saw first. "Made in China."

"No wonder that whole thing blew up in your face."

* * *

A.N.

That was a fast update and episode 3 is going well, too, though I have to be careful that it doesn't get too serious.

I think the goal of the whole episode should be clear. Crocker is simply too funny to let him stay in Dimmsdale and of course if Ranma gets help some new rivals have to come, too.

Oh, and about Gosunkugi's parents. I'm not sure about manga but I know that I haven't seen Gosunkugi's parents in the anime. So I simply made new parents. I'll refer to them only as mom, dad, mother and father.


End file.
